Never Meant To Be
by Bludge
Summary: Response to Sarah’s challenge. ‘ “Sara can’t be dead……’ NS & some GC. R


Disclaimer: I own nothing!  
  
A/N: Hi all. This is a response to a challenge set by Sarah at the Snickers' Group. It is my first ever response to a challenge and my first attempt at a writing a new genre. It's only one chapter. Thanks to my beta Brianna and I hope you like it. R&R and Enjoy!!! - Bex :o)  
  
Rules of the Challenge: must begin or end ONE chapter (not necessarily the FIRST chapter) with the words "Sara can't be dead..."...she can actually dead or not your choice...those words can be said by anyone. Must be ns, can be g/lh, g/c, or c/w. Nick must break a body part (you choose)  
  
"Sara can't be dead," Nick whispered, wishing desperately that his despaired voice could sound more convincing. Wishing that it would fool his head into disregarding the truth like his heart was. For the first time that night, there was a pain more ravenous then the one in his broken arm.  
  
Greg and Warrick stared at him in sorrowful pity; the break room was so silent that you could hear the buzzing noise emerging from the phone still clutched in Greg's hand. Nick felt his body shake violent all over, not a single inched of skin remained motionless, as he tried to stop the tears. Tears for someone who would never die for him. Warrick stepped forwards to try to offer some comfort. "Nick, listen..."  
  
"NO!" He snapped to prevent the next words leaving his friend's mouth; practically screaming in disbelieving hysteria. "She's not dead. Sara is not dead. She can't be.... She..."  
  
"Nicky," Greg began gently, but he wouldn't hear it. The only thing right now that made sense in his confused mind was he had to get out of here. He had to turn and run. Run until he could make sense of the last blurred minutes. Run until it was no longer true.  
  
He didn't stop 'til he was inside his SUV. There his anguish found him, making the tears brewing behind his eyes cascade down his face. The pain surged through him like wild fire, doubling him over and forcing him to lean against the steering wheel for support.  
  
Nick sobbed until he physically and mentally couldn't anymore. Clinging onto a wisp of strength, he straightened up and turned the keys in the ignition. He wiped a hand roughly across his eyes to rid them of the blurriness and slowly drove the vehicle out of the parking lot.  
  
He was going to the one place that held the power to confirm his fears: to make this nightmare a reality. He knew he wouldn't believe it until he saw it with his own eyes - if he had the courage to see it. Ignorance is not just bliss, but also the coward's refuge. A refuge that his mind would never be allowed the chance to hide in. "How did this happen?" He softly asked the emptiness, almost as if he expected an answer.  
  
~*Forty Minutes Earlier*~  
  
"We haven't seen you in here for a while Sara."  
  
She smiled widely at the old man grinning back at her, as he shoved her muffin into a small paper bag, leaving his wife to pour her mocha into a take-away cup. "That's because I was getting fat on your irresistible cakes," She stated, trying her best to sound serious.  
  
"Nonsense child, my food is all calorie free," He retorted with a mock glare.  
  
She laughed, "Ok then, make that two blueberries muffins."  
  
He chuckled as he fished another into the bag; at the same time his wife came over carrying the coffee, which she placed down on the counter. She gave Sara a wide beam. "So Sara, have you finally found a man worthy of your time yet?"  
  
Sara opened her mouth to answer, but her pager got there first. She yanked it from her pocket and groaned in irritation as she saw who it was. "Only the boss," She sighed grimly, waving her pager in the air. "I'm late for my shift."  
  
The woman's eyes narrowed. "He shouldn't work you so hard. Not good on such a young woman, who has other things to worry about." Then her smile returned and she leaned closer. "You know that handsome young Alec was asking after you again."  
  
Though she couldn't see it, Sara could feel the crimson seeping across her face. The man shook tiredly at his head at his wife. "Please Isabella that man is no where near good enough for our Sara here." He smiled affectionately at her and handed her the muffins. Quickly, he raised a hand to stop Sara as she reached to get out her wallet. "These are on the house. But only if you promise to start coming here more often again."  
  
"Ok, deal. Thank you Leo."  
  
"Always a pleasure, when the woman's as beautiful as you," He replied with a wink, making Sara laugh again.  
  
"See you Leo, Isabella," She called back to them, as she left waving with the brown bag clutched in her hand and her coffee in the other. She sipped thoughtfully at her coffee as she headed towards her car, passing a forlorn side alley on her way.  
  
Before she knew what she was happening, a hand roughly clamped down around her mouth as another pulled her backwards. Her attacker shoved her against the brick wall, making the food and coffee slip from her grasp and crash against the pavement. His palm muffled all of her desperate screams as she tried her best to struggle free; attempts that ceased when she felt the cool metal against her neck. "If you so much as breathe too loudly bitch, then it'll be your last," He whispered harshly into her ear.  
  
Keeping the knife firmly against her skin, he lowered his other hand and grasped hold of her trousers zip. Without a second thought, she brought her leg viciously up between his legs. He yelped in pain; the knife leaving her neck as he staggered back slightly, before he delivered a teeth rattling slap across her face. Sara tried to scream again, but his hand quickly covered her mouth. She bit down so hard on it that she drew blood; she could taste it in her mouth.  
  
Violently, he smacked her to the ground and kicked her. She lay there for a daze moment, adrenaline flashing through her blood stream, giving her the strength to stand up and try to run past him. She only got half way there, before he threw her back against the wall. The uneven bricks scrapped her spine, as he pushed a hand against her shoulder to hold her against them.  
  
That was when she felt it for the first time: the cold silver ripping through her flesh and into her abdomen. Then a second time. And a third. He stepped back, whilst the crimson stained blade he held in his hand gleamed in the feeble light. Sara clutched her stomach; eyes wide in shock as she looked down to see red liquid oozing between her tightly closed fingers. Then the last of her strength vanished, as her knees buckled and she fell to the ground; the darkness catching her before she felt the impacted.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Where the hell is she Cath? I mean she's never late. She usually at work before me!"  
  
Catherine rolled her eyes at Grissom, as she eased the Tahoe around a corner. "Look Gris, she probably just got held up. She'll be in later or ring with a very good excuse why she's not at work. Right now we've got a crime scene to handle."  
  
The car pulled to a halt and they got out together, kits at hand. They walked over to where Sergeant O'Riley was standing before the yellow crime tape. "Hey O'Riley," Cath greeted him, which he returned with a nod, "What have you got for us?"  
  
He stepped aside to let them pass him to the body. "Caucasian male; looks like he's been stabbed quite a few times. An anonymous witness rang in saying they heard a row and saw the guy get stabbed once."  
  
"Any description of the attacker?" Grissom inquired.  
  
"Nope," The policeman shook his head. "Apparently they freaked and hung up when they heard more screaming."  
  
"Great," Grissom muttered bitterly as his mobile went off. He snatched it from his pocket and quickly answered: "Grissom...uhuh...ok...Both dead. I'll send someone over." He hung up. "We've got a double homicides on the Strip; looks like they were shot."  
  
"Well we're busy here and you've already got Nick and Warrick on separate cases," Cath pointed out.  
  
"Where the hell is Sara?" Grissom mumbled as he tried paging her again. There was a beep. Grissom looked up to meet Catherine confused expression. He tried paging her again, and once more the near by beep answered.  
  
Cautiously, he headed in the direction the noise had come from, with Catherine trailing close behind. He kept paging Sara and following the beeps; they were getting closer ever time. The last one came from a narrow, dingy side alley. Catherine reaches out and took his hand in hers. He squeezed it: thankful that this small comfort stopped his fearful anticipation tearing him up inside.  
  
Then he took the step down into the alley - eyes first seeing the dark crimson pool, then the all too familiar body in the middle. "We need an ambulance now!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Nick found them together in the waiting room; holding tightly onto the other to appease the horrifying reality. He listened numbly as they explained what happened - Grissom did most of the talking whilst Catherine tried to stop her uncontrollable sobs. Sara was still alive, but the doctors couldn't tell them if she would pull through. Then finally Cath managed to regain some composure to choke: "The doctors say she lost her baby. I didn't even know she was pregnant." Before she collapsed against Grissom chest in more tears.  
  
He mumbled something about needing to see her and Grissom just gave him a solemn nod of understanding. Nick glanced over his shoulder to feel a flash of envy race through him, as he saw Grissom hold Catherine closely and kiss her loving on the forehead as he tried to calm her. Brushing it aside, he meandered uncertainly towards the forbidding door.  
  
*~*Flashback *~*  
  
She was nervous. Over the past years he had known her, he'd seen many emotions upon her face - mainly extremely pissed off - but nervousness was one he was unfamiliar with. He had no idea how to take it. She bit her lips, opened her mouth as if to speak, and then quickly shut it again. Instead of admitting something was up, she turned away and stared out the window. He didn't no how to deal with this.  
  
"Sara," He pressed gently, desperately wanting freedom from his mounting anticipation. When she gave no response, he got off the bed and walked in front of her. He stood only inches away now; lightly taking her hand in his good one, wishing once more that his other was free from the sling. "Sara honey, what's wrong?"  
  
"I...um," She sighed. "I've got something I need to tell you?"  
  
"What?"  
  
She took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."  
  
He didn't respond. She scanned his expressionless worriedly, searching for an answer. Slowly, a wide smile spread across his lips. "That's brilliant," He whispered. Then hesitated. "Is it..."  
  
"Yours?" She finished with an irritant glare, "Who else's would it be Stokes?"  
  
"Well you were getting very friendly with Greg when I was getting my arm plastered," He teased with a wide smirk. She pulled a face and grabbed a pillow off the bed, aiming it at his head. "Hey! It's unfair to attack an injured man!"  
  
Before she could reply, he'd grabbed her by the arm and pulled her down onto the bed with him. "Careful," She giggled, cautious not to hit his cast nor her stomach. "Maybe next time you'll actual win rock, paper, scissors and Warrick will have to climb the tree for evidence."  
  
"That's unfair, my rock, paper, scissors skills are one of a champ's."  
  
"Um, maybe so, but you're appalling at falling out of trees!" She retorted and he silenced her with a long lingering kiss.  
  
They lay next to each other on the bed; faces with only centimeter apart. He brushed a loose strand form her face, wondering if he'd even seen her look so beautiful. "I love you."  
  
She smiled softly. "I love you too."  
  
He kissed her again; never growing tired of the emotions she stirred within him. How complete she made him feel; as if he'd spent his whole life trying to fill this void and she was the only sole who could. "Mmmm," She purred as they parted, leisurely sliding off the bed and to her feet. "You know I have a really craving for one of Leo's muffins right now."  
  
"The guy who owns that café that you used to always go to?" He asked and she nodded. Then he got to his feet as well. "Well that sounds good to me."  
  
"I don't think that's a good idea."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I think it might be a bit suspicious if we're both late to our shift," She pointed out, tapping his chest with a finger. "Also, it might be best if you don't mention you already know I'll be late."  
  
He chuckled and shook his head; reaching out and gently placed a palm on her stomach. He could have sworn he could feel the precious new life moving under his touch. "I think, my dear Sara, that this is going to let the cat out of the bag."  
  
*~*End Flashback *~*  
  
Sara lay in the bed beside his chair, not moving an inch. The beeps of the life-support machine confirmed she was alive, even though she wasn't; right now she merely existed as she waited for her fate. She looked half-dead; her skin unnaturally pale and closed eyes were sunken back like some breathing corpse.  
  
He slid his fingers between hers and held her hand tightly, surprise at how cold her skin felt. His cast rested in the sling putting weight around his neck, but that was nothing compare to the heaviness of his heart. "I've got something I need to tell you," He whispered hoarsely, his voice cracked by sadness. "You know I was going to take you out to breakfast after the shift, well I was planning to give you this." He took his hand away to fumble through his pocket to find an elegantly simplistic diamond ring. Gently, Nick slid the ring onto her engagement finger and tenderly kissed her hand. "I bought this before I even knew about the baby; when I knew that you were the only person in the world I've ever wanted to spend the rest of my life with."  
  
Nick paused to swallow back the tears ready to fall. To swallow back the pain. "You see Sara, you can't leave me, 'cause that's not the way it's meant to be. What ever happened, we'll get through it. We always do. And we're going to get married, have a family and grow old together. Always be together. I need you so much; I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. You're the reason I get up in the morning. You're the only thing that puts a smile on my face when everything goes wrong. You're the only thing that keeps reminding me that there's still good in the world. And I'm going to make you so happy, I promise."  
  
The life-support machine faltered; the bleeps slowed, until each individual sound merged into one. Nick wrapped his good arm securely around her, as if trying to prevent her spirit from leaving. "Please Sara. Please don't go. Don't leave me," He begged, his voice blurred with salty tears of sorrow.  
  
And as she slipped away he felt apart of him going with her; the heart that he gave to her slowly dying as well. Time stopped for him as he held desperately onto her; sobbing on her shoulder as the endless agonising pain tore through him. For what is life without love or love without life?  
  
~ The End ~  
  
A/N: What do you think? This is my first ever try at writing a tragedy, so I would like to know how I did. I think that I should mention that I do feel really bad for killing her! So please hit that button now and tell me what you think. 


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